Posts tagged #support

Five Ways to Feel Like Yourself Again

Just can’t shake that feeling of being totally “off”?

Maybe it’s been a weird day … or week … or most of your thirties bit the big one.

If it seems like you’ve drifted away from who you are … only to find yourself on a desert island of WTF: don’t worry! There is a raft heading your way right now.

First, we need to look at the root cause of why we feel off in the first place. Like how did we end up here with our tattered shirt wrapped around our head, trying to spear fish with our house key?

How did we end up feeling like a completely unrecognizable version of ourselves?

1. What are you doing to throw yourself off?

Take a long hard look at what you’ve been doing in the past few months and weeks (or years) leading up to this lost-self-scenario.

My example would be that I used to take on every project I’d ever wanted to do ALL AT ONCE and proceed to give myself a deadline of yesterday. Time waits for no one I used to tell myself. A couple weeks into this self-imposed boot camp I’m bedridden—binge watching Netflix and wearing the same clothes from last week.

The point is that the patterns are easy to spot once we look for them. Can you say warning signs?!

2. Are you pushing yourself too hard?

Throwing yourself off meet pushing yourself too hard. I’m sure you two will get along great. You have so much in common.

We all know that pushing leads to collapse or burnout or collapse and burnout. Even inanimate objects experience this. As an example, did you know that if you push a coffee maker too hard and make it pump out cup after cup without a break that it will eventually start projectile vomiting water across your kitchen counter? Or, so I’ve heard.

Anyway, we all know that pushing ourselves too hard is a recipe for disaster. Look at what you can do in pieces, one after the other.

How can you space projects out so that you have time to breathe in between?

When can you take time off even if it’s just an afternoon to spend in the park?

Awareness is key so make sure to be on alert for when you’re pushing yourself as opposed to having a healthy motivation for your schedule.

3. Are you asking for help?

Our society can no longer worship the individual. The individual is part of the whole. The individual is part of the group and community that we need so much.

We need that collaboration and support.

We need to feel connected to others as we go for our dreams in life.

Collaboration, community and relationships are the most important principles in life today—aside from sharing love. Without our community behind or with us, we are always going to feel lost or off.

Find your people—whether it’s a social group, exercise group, political group or spiritual group—stay connected. Ask for help. Reach out and do things with others who have a common goal.

4. Getting that desperate feeling

Sometimes we start to panic and feel really out of it. Maybe we’ve gone so far that we can’t really find our way back home to ourselves. Its ok, we’ve all been there. The way back is to reconnect to our True Self.

Find time in the morning or at night to breathe deeply and envision roots growing from your feet into the centre of the earth.

Spend time with your eyes closed and feel the communion with your True Self. Do this regularly so that you always maintain that connection. The source of most anxiety and feeling of confusion is due to the fact that we’ve disconnected from who we really are.

5. What do you love?

What you love is who you are.

What you love is an expression of your life.

When you connect to that, you are connected to your True Self, your core.

This is the quickest way to feel like yourself again:

Reaffirm what you love.

Make a list.

Tell someone.

Make plans to express what you love in the world.

You can’t feel out of it when you are doing or being what you love—it is impossible.

Try to use these five tips as a maintenance tool or a sign post—when you start to feel wobbly go back to one of these steps. And the thing to remember is that no matter how off you may feel, you are never far from your True Self.

Remember: YOU are home.

I would love to hear how you connect to yourself or what you love. Share below in the comments!

WHY AM I STILL FEELING AWFUL?

I used to think that I would literally never find relief from my longterm health issues: skin, digestive pain/imbalance and massive anxiety.

At one point I seriously thought I’d spend the rest of my life like a vegetable on medication, completely dysfunctional and of no use to anyone.
 

I had tried everything to make my symptoms go away.

I had put all my energy into “getting rid of the problem.”

Nothing was working: I was at my wit’s end.

I still felt awful and I accepted that I would probably always feel awful.


THERE WAS NO WAY OUT


We can paint ourselves into a corner sometimes.

We are not able to see the solution.

We really don’t even know what the problem is.

 

Here is a truth bomb that changed everything for me:

OUR SYMPTOMS ARE NOT THE PROBLEM, WE ARE THE PROBLEM
 

Your perspective of the problem is off.

Your solutions aren’t addressing the cause of the problem.

Your actions are not healing the ACTUAL CAUSES OF YOUR HEALTH PROBLEMS.

I know this all sounds harsh but you need a wake-up call so you don’t spend twenty years figuring things out (like I did).
 

HOW TO SHIFT

1.       Ask your health issue what it is trying to tell you. Journal about it. Meditate on it. Listen.

2.       Get in touch with your body everyday—ask what your body needs, how you’re feeling, spend time tuning in physically to your body.

3.       Look at your life patterns emotionally: what is your dominant experience to life? (ex. Disappointment, resentment, anger, fear of being criticized). Journal about it. Meditate on it. Listen.

THESE THREE TECHNIQUES WILL PROFOUNDLY SHIFT YOUR LIFE AND GET YOU IN TOUCH WITH WHO YOU REALLY ARE: YOUR TRUE SELF. YOUR TRUE SELF KNOWS ALL THE ANSWERS AND IS PATIENTLY WAITING FOR YOU TO EMBRACE YOUR TRANSFORMATION.

Comment below with your ahas!

Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Body Guidelines

Welcome to the Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Body community!

Chronic anxiety and other physical and emotional conditions will NEVER HEAL and in fact they will continue to get worse, unless you deal with your underlying emotional traumas and stuck emotions.

My community is about helping sensitive souls who are ready to heal their emotional traumas so they can finally feel safe and at home in their body. If you're ready for peace of mind and freedom, you're in the right place!

NOBODY ELSE IS ADDRESSING THE UNDERLYING ISSUES THAT KEEP YOU FEELING STRESSED, ANXIOUS AND FRUSTRATED YEAR AFTER YEAR

Here are some of the amazing benefits you will receive in this sacred and uplifting group:

  • Feel relieved as you finally learn the root causes of your physical conditions such as anxiety.

  • Feel supported with deeply healing tools to unravel and clear toxic emotions so that you are no longer at war with your body.

  • Feel calm and centred the more you connect to your True Self and have the clarity you've been looking for.

Here is the link to share for the group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/healyouremotionshealyourbody/

DAILY THEMES

Acceptance Monday: One of the things I stand for and that I follow to get powerful results for my clients, is the principle of RADICAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE. That means that we acknowledge, embrace and integrate ALL PARTS OF OURSELVES NO MATTER WHAT. Healing starts with a declaration of acceptance to yourself. What are you willing to accept about yourself this week?

Truly Me Tuesday: MY FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK! ALL HEALING AND TRANSFORMATION DEPENDS ON OUR CONNECTION AND EXPRESSION OF WHO WE REALLY ARE

Share some of the things that allows you to express your True Self. Examples can be poems, crafts, art, even a pic of the amazing meal you created or the garden you tend. I can't wait to see what you do to express your True Self!

Willingness Wednesday: We may think we're ready to heal, we may insist that we are open, but sometimes we are not. Today we are going to change that! Tune in and find where you feel resistant and declare that you are willing to let it go, find help or have a different experience. Post it below to really get the energy moving!!

Aha Thursday: Post your ahas about your experience of anxiety this week. What have you noticed? What is working? What are you struggling with? Tell us your lightbulb moment. It can be light and funny or deep and profound--you pick!

Fave Friday: Share your favourite people, place or thing—pic or gif or description. 

Soothing Sunday: How do you help your soul relax, recharge and unwind?

 

POSTS THAT ARE ENCOURAGED

  • Participating in the daily themes, telling us about yourself, sharing stories that are uplifting or inspirational

  • Helpful resources that you would like to share with the group—that helped you personally

  • Any questions or comments about your own journey

  • Requests for support and encouragement if you're having a difficult or challenging time

  • Questions about the HEAL YOUR EMOTIONS, HEAL YOUR BODY community: for clarification or when in need of more details
     

POSTS THAT ARE NOT TOLERATED

  • Offering UNSOLICITED (meaning the person did not ask for advice or guidance) counselling, therapy or coaching to other members-it is fine to offer love, support and encouragement

  • Insults, shaming or ridicule of others' posts and sharing

  • No spamming of business offers or marketing/commercial posts; this is not a group to promote your business


INVITE YOUR FRIENDS

To invite your friends to this community, send them a personal message with the link to join: https://www.facebook.com/groups/healyouremotionshealyourbody/

Do not add people to the group without their permission.
Always ask first.

The Plea and The Response

Don’t leave me hanging.
Hanging from the cliff, dangling over the chasm of wanting.
Looking down but trying not to look down.
 
Don’t look at me now because I’m ashamed.
I hang my head because you caught me. Caught me reaching out.
Caught me needing, kneeling over my own glass statue. Shielding it with my wary embrace.
 
Don’t look at me now—my face is embarrassed.
You caught me between poses.
In between stages. In between rehearsals.
Suspended between carefully orchestrated deliberations.
Don’t judge what I’m doing. I do it with blindness.
Without a reliable script.
 
The Response-
I love you.
I love you through your uncertainty,
your desperate grasping of another,
frantic groping for a plug to stop this sink.
 
I love you.
I love you through the shiny mirages,
the race to the horizon,
The realization of an empty sandy landscape.
I love you.
I love you through the utter humiliation of obvious need,
your naked body in the dream where you forgot to dress,
The revelation.
The revealing that seems so involuntary.
I love you.
I love you for your striving, for running to goal posts.
I love you for beating yourself at your own time.
I love you for wanting. For needing.
For despairing. For grasping.
For struggling. For reaching.
For yearning.
I don’t hold this against you. I hold you against me.
I wrap my arms around you and stoke the flames of your raging bonfire.
I love you.

Feel like something is missing in your life? Sign-up to receive my free mini-class here and discover how to connect with yourself again: 

A Fresh Look at Crazy

Have you ever wondered whether you were going crazy? Not just as an afterthought, but as a cold chill up your spine at 3am? I’d be willing to bet that most of us have had those nights. The reality is that some of us have had to eventually face this worry as a fact of life. Some of us have had to admit that they were, in fact, crazy. So, what does the word crazy mean to you? For me, the definition has evolved over time…The opinions expressed here are based on my nearly fifteen years’ experience as a Child and Youth Care Counselor and holistic practitioner both looking through the lens of clients I’ve had and of course, through the window of truth-the bathroom mirror.

Over the years, I’ve bonded and worked with people with schizophrenia, depression, anxiety and the gamut of personality disorders accompanied by all of the definitions and sub-definitions in the DSMV. I spent time with people with PTSD, ADHD/ADD, Attachment Disorder, Asperger’s, Conduct Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder, OCD, Tourette’s and finally, Fear of Mental Illness Labeling (this is what I developed after sifting through bigger and bigger piles of my clients’ diagnoses sheets). I have the utmost respect for psychiatrists, but at times it was like solving a mathematical equation. And math makes me very nervous.

I worked with a client who couldn’t leave their house in the morning because his rituals of chanting/counting took two to three hours to reach the door of his bedroom. This person was altogether lovely and had a passion for theatre and documentaries. Another client used to stand with their nose against the mirror and carry on an intensely animated conversation lasting sometimes an hour. This person was also very polite and mild mannered; playing cards with me and calling me “miss”.

I tried my best to support, counsel and offer non-judgemental space to people who cut, burnt and starved themselves. I tried really hard to help those who wanted to kill themselves; for some this was a weekly/daily/hourly journey. Some chose to cut things short: RIP.

I can’t pinpoint exactly when, but at some point my attitude shifted from worker helping crazy person to person observing other person’s journey. Perhaps I needed a few knocks to the ground as life can administer at times. Maybe I had one too many thoughts like “why did I do that? what's wrong with me”? Maybe I needed to work with the fear of being or becoming like “them”. Whatever it was the real epiphany came when I realized I most certainly could be “them”. In fact, there was nothing stopping life from handing me that dance card with a note that says: you’re up next.

Once I came to terms with the fact that life can turn in an instant-one minute you’re having your morning coffee and the next minute you’re running through the streets in your nightie yelling: “the British are coming! The British are coming!”—I relaxed. I was able to see that I was not chasms away from that person; we actually shared the same thing-the human experience.

I’m not trying to alarm people, I simply want to say that we are not as different as we all think we are. We can all have mental breaks. We can all have periods of time where we are not quite “right in the head”. Or not. The point is that it can happen. With this wonderful piece of wisdom we can remove a lot of the judgement we may have that someone is a “weirdo” or “lunatic” or better yet, that we are somehow a “weirdo” or “lunatic”. We can look at people and ourselves with more compassion. We can give each other a break; we can give ourselves a break. We’re doing the best we can and we are dealing with the cards we were dealt.

And when the time comes for the word “crazy” to escape your lips, you might stop it in its tracks.
 

Emotional Factory Settings

My life is upside down. If upside down means right side up that is.

In other words, my life is traveling speedily down a road I like to call “awesome”! Just flying down the open road with my hair blowing in the breeze…metaphorically for now, but I’m ready for actual windblown hair at any time! All is right with the world. Now let’s go back a couple of weeks.

My life was upside down. Upside down with no opposite talk, just upside down. I was not driving along the road called awesome, I was careening down the highway to hell (yes, I can hear AC/DC too).

The difference between an upside down life and an upside down life that’s really right side up is this: emotional factory settings.

These are your knee-jerk, spastic, unconscious responses to life that we’ve hopefully managed to meditate, downward dog, transmute and clear away—for the most part. Until we find ourselves under extreme pressure. The pressure could be happy experiences like moving to a seaside hut in Costa Rica with your devoted and sensitive poetry—writing warrior/lover or it could mean finding out your new boss is the person who relentlessly bullied you in high school. Pressure is pressure; both bring out our emotional factory settings.

Our body has slipped into such as state of stress that it must operate on factory settings. There is no extra energy or awareness available to act in a conscious way in every moment. You must know me well enough by now…I would never agree with that!

Of course you can turn things around! So, how do you reset back to your calm, conscious, customized Self?
 

Try these tips:

  1. Prevent emotional explosions. 
    I built up such a powder keg of nervous energy that when someone poked the bear...I was exploding all over the place. And all over the poor unsuspecting person in front of me. The key is to let out the nervous energy. If you feel tense go for a walk, go to the gym, yell into a pillow, hurl rocks into the water, run to a friend’s house or jump up and down. The real point is to release that nervous, pent up energy.
     
  2. Communicate your feelings. 
    This is a tough one for me so I’m not saying this lightly. If you feel an icky feeling in your gut—someone hurt your feelings or you felt cast aside-acknowledge those feelings. Try to name them and write them down or say it out loud. Then if you want to tell the person directly, do that. Maybe it’s just a matter of relaying the event to a friend. Remember to frame it in a way that the person you’re telling is a sounding board, not a gossiping partner. The key here is to release the emotion once it’s acknowledged.
     
  3. Relax yourself.
    Take a bath. Put lavender under your nostrils. Take rescue remedy. Go for a massage. Take a nap. Read a lighthearted book. Pet your animal. Gaze at a body of water or fire. Breathe deep cleansing breaths.
     
  4. Eat regularly. 
    Keep your energy steady in the body so that your blood sugar isn’t all over the place. Going long periods of time without eating only serves to throw your emotions, hormones and general calmness out of whack! Don’t go more than three hours without eating—even if it’s a snack. A handful of nuts, some crackers and humous or a piece of fruit with almond butter will do the trick.

Try these techniques to unplug the emotional factory settings doing you no good whatsoever, so that you can return to your evolved and customized settings—the real YOU!