Posts tagged #love

Why Am I Still Single? 3 Surprising Blocks to Finding Your Perfect Mate

in-love-2503412_1280.jpg

Join me for a powerful FREE Facebook live series to learn how your best intentions are actually doing the opposite of what will bring you the amazing relationship you’re looking for.


You will learn to use highly effective practices and techniques today to help you break the pattern of going from one terrible relationship to another or stop the cycle of unwittingly being alone, year after year.


During this incredible Facebook live series, I will cover the pitfalls that block you from having a mate who is perfect for you in every way:


1 Fear of recreating dysfunctional family relationships

2 The dark side of having “high” standards

3 The wrong kind of going with the flow


And much more!! Don’t miss this life changing FREE series starting Tuesday June 4 at 12 pm PST.

Sign up here (replay is available):

Posted on May 28, 2019 and filed under love and relationships.

Positive Stirrings Afoot

Today is 999--the ending of a 10 year cycle and shifting into a new higher awareness of love, compassion and a higher consciousness (more here: https://thriveonnews.com/2016/07/07/999-meaning/)

It is No Coincidence that TODAY:

**Dakota pipeline access that is set to destroy sacred native land and potentially poison their only drinking water: the U.S. Department of the Interior, Department of Justice and Army Corps of Engineers issued a joint statement that, in effect, temporarily halts all construction bordering Lake Oahe on the Missouri. And I saw another announcement that the Obama administration has intervened completely to stop construction.
Read more at http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/…/dakota-access-c…

**Professor Seralini who discovered rats that ingested Genetically Modified foods grew massive tumours--only to be part of a huge smear campaign and death threats and suppression of his results. Today it was announced that he won a massive defamation law suit in his home country of France
http://www.realfarmacy.com/seralini-defamation-lawsuit/

This happened in the last week:

**Canada: all animals are now categorized as sentient beings with feelings and biological needs (the BIG DUUUUH, but better late than never) which means that animal abuse and cruelty is much easier to convict in a court of law
http://www.peacefulcentury.net/in-canada-animals-are-now-c…/

Need I say more. If you're seeing old patterns come up don't worry! I've come across my people pleaser, can't say no, can't express my true feelings, martyr, victim aspects all just this week--phew! Thankfully they just came to say goodbye.

When we get to a certain level of our spiritual healing, we can honest to goodness wave goodbye to tons of old paradigms; all we have to do is recognize that it is a goodbye and not a reunion.
Namaste and I invite you to ride this beautiful, positive, humane and loving wave.

Discussion: What have you noticed is happening in the world around you that "proves" that this shift is actually occurring? Post below!

Happiness Comes From Love & Gratitude

Every day, people buy too much stuff, eat too much food, and waste away their hours chasing after happiness…to no avail. They may find excitement or satiation, but TRUE HAPPINESS still eludes them.

Fortunately, happiness is really inexpensive and pretty simple to find, but that doesn’t mean that it comes easily. However, if you’re bold, and truly willing to commit to a few simple steps, happiness will be yours in just a short while.

1.      Quit Complaining.

The first step to finding happiness is to stop trying to find what’s wrong with the world around you. There’s plenty to complain about, but if you focus all of your attention there, you’ll never see the good stuff.

2.      Choose To Live In Love.

Falling in love with the world (and people) around you is a sure step toward happiness…and it’s easy. Simply accept people for who they are, and choose to see the good in them. Don’t expect it…CHOOSE it…then express it.

3.      Appreciate Everything.

Start expressing your gratitude every day. If you’d like, keep a gratitude journal and write down at least 3 things you’re grateful for every morning. Before long, you’ll have more things to appreciate than you can count.

Becoming happy may mean “looking like a fool” or changing A LOT of your current habits, but I promise you…it sure beats the alternative.

What can YOU do to create more happiness in your life TODAY?

Posted on June 26, 2016 and filed under health and wellness.

When We Choose Friends Who Hurt Us

We’ve all been there. You hang up the phone and wonder why in the world you even talk to “that” friend. The hurtful one. The friend who offers cutting observations of your behaviors and life experiences. Ouch.

I’m here to give you a few pointers on how to make sure your friendships are loving and supportive.
 

First here are some questions to ask yourself in a quiet place:

  • What am I willing to accept in order to have friends?
  • What is my emotional, psychological and spiritual limit?
  • What does my heart tell me about this person?
     

Why do we do it?

We don’t have to go into a session of hand-wringing, but it’s worth it to delve into the reasons we may choose unsupportive or hurtful friends. I’d like to offer up a few universal reasons based on the human condition.

  1. We all want love
  2. We all want validation
  3. We are all afraid of being alone

These reasons can help us be compassionate towards ourselves. We all want these things—there is nothing wrong with us. We’ve made some choices that we don’t prefer. That’s ok. With loving attention, let’s move into what we can do about our situation.
 

What do we do from here?

1. Forgive ourselves. As I mentioned, our actions and choices are not a reason to beat ourselves up. We are always doing the best we can in every moment. Know that to be true.

2. Make a decision. Sit down and decide with conviction that enough is enough. You are only inviting loving friendships into your life. You will only be a loving friend to the best of your ability.

3. Set an intention. Declare it as a ceremony. Whether you write a certificate and sign it or go into the woods and shout it to the sky, make it official. This is a very powerful exercise and has brought many lovely and joyful surprises my way.

4. Communicate—bring closure. You can write this friend a letter. Pour out your heart and bawl them out too! You don’t ever have to let them see it. Unless you want to. This is meant to bring YOU closure. You want to resolve it within yourself. Then you can decide whether you want to tell them how you feel or whether it will remain between you and the fence post.

You can also decide if you want to attempt a resolution with the friend. You can try to bring your feelings forward and if you feel that they are sincere and didn’t understand the impact they had on you, maybe they can remain your friend. You decide. That’s the takeaway. It’s your life. You can choose to surround yourself with whomever you like. So make it count. You’ll be glad you did.

Want more content? Listen to my podcast on the same topic.
 

Take the Fear Out of Self-Love

I’m not one to reinvent the wheel, so let us stick with the timeless February theme: LOVE. Love takes many forms, but it all stems from how you feel about yourself. Last year gave me plenty of insight into how I treated myself. Frankly, it was a shocker.

You know those strange little behaviours that form the basis of your unique personality? Well, some of them may be outright self-bullying until you take a look at them boldly. Here is an excerpt from Chapter three of my book “What Would Little Red Riding Hood Do? 7 Ways to Face Your Wolf and Live Happily Ever After” in which I explore my fear of facing myself:

“I wasn’t willing to look at myself. I wasn’t willing to look in the mirror and ask what’s wrong. Why are you feeling like this? Why do you have so much anxiety? Why is there so much pain? I didn’t want to ask any of that, so I put on my running shoes and ran.

This frantic hamster wheel motion went on for many years, taking me from one place to another with my suitcase and boxes. I was worn out, exhausted and constantly in a state of anxiety. It felt as if something was chasing me; I now know it was my awareness.

I encourage you to look at yourself in whatever form it may take (the mirror, on paper, with a trusted friend/advisor). Instead of running or jumping or diving into the sand…let’s face ourselves and you'll see that it’s not so bad. You might even like it. In fact you will love it, because deep down there is a part of you that really loves YOU for YOU!”

Here’s to looking full on at oneself in the name of self-love. Happy Valentine’s Day!
 

Take a look at some changes I made last year—you may want to try some of these:

  1. I no longer buy things that make me say: “that's good enough for now”, “not too bad” or “I’ll just ignore the fact that I don’t really like it” (don’t ask me it was just an unconscious habit); I do buy things that make me say: “fantastic”, “holy sh*t that’s awesome”, “I love this for life”. Translation: does NOT mean more expensive.
     
  2. I surround myself with pleasant and beautiful things: aka fresh flowers, new pictures on the wall, and happytastic photos of myself; I got rid of and I’m in the process of exchanging/replacing and burning all items connected to past relationships, hand me downs and anything heavily laden with emotional baggage.
     
  3. I take part in gratitude practices and focus on things/situations/people that make me feel happy (ex. 100happydays.com).
     
  4. I take time to pamper myself: I went for a full body Dead Sea scrub. That was amazing. Not to mention being introduced to disposable underwear—strange concept, but interesting.
     
  5. I find ways to purge negative emotions/feelings/vibes through yoga, walking and journaling.
     

All of the above brings me more joy, confidence, adventurous tendencies and spontaneous bursts of happiness! How will you bring more self-love into your life today?
 

The Love Boat

When you think of love what comes to mind? Moonlight? Sunset? Riding into it? I admit that I’m a fully recovering romantic and will never rid myself of the line from The Princess Bride—“This is true love, you think this happens every day?” I was sure for most of my teenage years that Wesley was going to clone somehow and appear on my doorstep. He must be sidetracked because he hasn’t arrived yet. Because of this obvious disappointment and assault to my idealistic sensibilities, I’ve had to grow up and bite into the sour apple of life—sometimes there are no sunset walks and sometimes there is not even a visible sunset. Those are the times when we realize that the only sun is within us and this is the whole point.

Whatever is within can shine out at all times, whether we’re dancing in the moonlight with the love of our life or not…Let’s look at it this way instead—we are lighthouses shining our light out across the ocean signalling ships that the shore is near-us. As we blink across the expanse of the water, left and right, we cast our light wider and wider until a ship comes within range. A lighthouse doesn’t get bitter and dim down its light because a ship hasn’t arrived. A lighthouse doesn’t angrily shut off its light because its tired of waiting. A lighthouse just shines. Period. Ships passing in the night will always see the lighthouse. It doesn’t have to jump into the ocean and swim frantically towards the boat—how would that help? Lighthouses don’t have to lasso the ship and pull it in—the ship may crash against the rocks. You get the picture right? So, whether you’re a fellow romantic soul or a more down to earth lover, remember that our light shines eternally bright and nothing will stop The Love Boat. 
 

5 Ways to Deal with Rejection and Love yourself More than Ever

When someone you care about deeply rejects you in some way, whether they leave, tell you they don’t love you anymore or somehow decide they don’t want to be around you—that hurts. In fact that is an obscene understatement. Rejection can knock the wind out of you so much so that you don’t know if you’re coming or going. Especially if you feel that the rejection comes out of nowhere as if you were merrily dancing along when you ran face first into the lamppost. I have experienced this many times in my life—rejection of my projects, my ideas and worst of all my heart. I have also rejected others, sometimes cruelly so. No matter which end you’re staring at, it stinks. I’ve also discovered that rejection can be an opportunity to hug your cherished ideals, dreams or your heart (the way you would hug a child who’s just run head first into a lamppost). What better way to recover from rejection than to love yourself more than ever? Here are five ways that soothe the pain of rejection and help me move forward with a stronger belief in myself. My hope is that these suggestions will also bring you relief. 

  1. Get angry.
    Don’t deny the feelings that come up. If you’re afraid of your anger or think it’s not nice to get angry you’ll push those emotions down and sooner or later they will pop up-like a soccer ball held under the water. So, just deal with the emotions as they happen-feel them and express them without berating yourself. Punch some pillows, scream in the basement, jump up and down—do whatever it takes to let it move through your system. I’ve learned over the years not to get onto the computer and send angry emails or leave voice messages. That just leads down a path of misery and having to deal with a bunch of unwanted consequences. Express the anger, but leave other people out of it. They are your feelings so deal with them yourself. The key is not to judge the feelings—just feel them. This goes for any feelings that arise. 
     
  2. Get rest.
    Usually after an emotional blow or intense experience you feel very tired. It’s like you’ve just run a marathon that you didn’t know you were in. Take the time to go to bed early. Come home from work and go to bed if you can or at least downgrade all activities to the bare minimum. This is taking care of yourself. This is loving yourself. In the end, this will help you recover and come out stronger and more able to help those around you. Don’t underestimate this point. Your mind, body and spirit need time to recuperate and process the rejection. Take your time until you feel your energy slowly returning.
     
  3. Get perspective.
    Here’s the chance to turn things around for yourself. Rejection is not personal. The person may be rejecting themselves, rejecting something that they don’t want to deal with, rejecting an experience they’d rather avoid or they simply don’t want to partake. Whatever it is, do you see that it is about them? It’s not wrong or right, it’s their choice. They chose not to accept whatever it was you were offering. That doesn’t mean that what you offered was automatically crap. That somehow you are flawed and unworthy. It means the person didn’t want what you wanted to give them. Period. So, all the pain and stories that we can come up with as to why they rejected it or what they didn’t like, etc. is an elaborate distraction from the facts. You offered something and the person said no. If you can get your brain to that point or tap into your inner awareness that this has nothing to do with you, then you’ve come through the thickest part. Yes, I even mean when we offer “ourselves”—our love. Your love for someone can’t be rejected. In other words, love can’t be destroyed or changed. You love someone and that’s that. The fact that they don’t reciprocate doesn’t diminish your love or make you less than.
     
  4. Get back up.
    When we react to something that hurts us it may feel like we’ve fallen and don’t feel like getting up. In my world getting up means to remind myself how amazing I am. How much I love being me. Yes, it sounds cheesy, but it’s worked so well for me countless times that I don’t mind when people think I’m a Pollyanna. If you think this is silly just consider how far you’ve come telling yourself how stupid, ridiculous, ugly, fat, irresponsible and unworthy you are. Try the other way—trust me it’s much more fun and helps you get back up. I do funny things like putting heart stickers all over my computer or I say I love you into the mirror in the morning. You’ll be amazed how fast the rejection sting fades into the distance.
     
  5. Get compassionate.
    The last piece is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Try to imagine their life and why they might’ve rejected you. If you can spend some time thinking about their situation you will see that it might start to make sense to you. You don’t have to like the decision they made but reaching a deeper understanding of the other person may help. In certain situations you may not have the slightest clue what their motivations were. This may be more challenging but give them the benefit of the doubt that they had a good reason for the choice they made. In the end, all we can do is our best in each moment.