Posts tagged #fear

How to Know When You're Being Manipulated by Fear (and what to do)

Have you ever been hounded by someone's fear-based opinions until you felt totally panicky and thrown off? It's scary and intense, right? In this video, I offer you some tips on how to recognize fear-based manipulation and what to do about it! Make your own opinions and decisions from a place of reason and common sense. Don't let anyone lead you down the wrong track! Take your power back--you get to choose how you feel.

Posted on July 28, 2016 and filed under emotional growth.

How to Get Past Fear to Get Sh*t Done (even if you feel paralyzed)

Do you really, really want to get something done, but you're terrified out of your mind to do it? In this Truly Powerful Quick Tip video (video #7 of 7), I talk about things you may be unaware of that greatly effect your confidence and ability to go for it in life. I also mentions a way to look at your situation that can also lift you above your own fears. Don't miss this one if you have a lot of big stuff to do and you're tired of letting fear get in the way.

How to Deal with Anxiety: Avoid Living like you’re on The Mindy Project

Anxiety is no joke. Just take a look at what the characters on The Mindy Project go through on a daily basis: hidden skeletons (think Danny’s stripper thong), mammoth misunderstandings (Peter didn’t go to Dartmouth) and high pressure shenanigans (Mindy goes to California).

Thankfully, we don’t have to down bottles of wine or bribe people or hide under desks to cope with life’s ups and downs (although I do admire Mindy’s way with words).

We can handle our mangled nerves in a much more effective way. Here is a technique that I put into practice to soothe my anxiety. Try it and see—you’ll be amazed at how much it will change your experiences!

Mantras

Mantras: phrases or words that help you reach a desired state of being. For example, the mantra “OM”. Look up some Sanskrit words or phrases to find the ones that suit you best. These mantras allow you to focus and return to a calmer state of being.

Repeat them out loud, in your mind or write them out. The more you use them, the better they work. Once I got past the arguments that my mind tries to make (this is stupid, these words won’t work, this is a waste of time), I find that the mantras help me immensely. The trick is not to give in to the literal meaning behind the words and phrases. I used this one:

Everything is always working out perfectly for me. (Abraham Hicks)

Listen to my podcast for an in-depth explanation of why I used this phrase.

I repeated this phrase several times a day and looked at it on a piece of paper when I needed to return to a state of peace and calm. Over time, I found that something clicked into place and the phrase immediately brought me there. I had connected on a deeply spiritual level to the vibration of the phrase. This is what you can do too. Find your phrase and use it when you need it.

Put it on the fridge, in your wallet or on your desk. Look at it often.
Repeat the phrase as needed.

Remember to let go of the outcomes that you think are the best things for you and to realize when things show up for you (possibly in different packaging).

As adorable as Mindy is, you don’t have to worry about hurting peoples’ feelings, avoid intimidating situations or try to convince others of your worth. You can go back to the mantras and let things unfold instead. Ahhh…much better.

Posted on December 1, 2015 and filed under emotional growth.

Take the Fear Out of Self-Love

I’m not one to reinvent the wheel, so let us stick with the timeless February theme: LOVE. Love takes many forms, but it all stems from how you feel about yourself. Last year gave me plenty of insight into how I treated myself. Frankly, it was a shocker.

You know those strange little behaviours that form the basis of your unique personality? Well, some of them may be outright self-bullying until you take a look at them boldly. Here is an excerpt from Chapter three of my book “What Would Little Red Riding Hood Do? 7 Ways to Face Your Wolf and Live Happily Ever After” in which I explore my fear of facing myself:

“I wasn’t willing to look at myself. I wasn’t willing to look in the mirror and ask what’s wrong. Why are you feeling like this? Why do you have so much anxiety? Why is there so much pain? I didn’t want to ask any of that, so I put on my running shoes and ran.

This frantic hamster wheel motion went on for many years, taking me from one place to another with my suitcase and boxes. I was worn out, exhausted and constantly in a state of anxiety. It felt as if something was chasing me; I now know it was my awareness.

I encourage you to look at yourself in whatever form it may take (the mirror, on paper, with a trusted friend/advisor). Instead of running or jumping or diving into the sand…let’s face ourselves and you'll see that it’s not so bad. You might even like it. In fact you will love it, because deep down there is a part of you that really loves YOU for YOU!”

Here’s to looking full on at oneself in the name of self-love. Happy Valentine’s Day!
 

Take a look at some changes I made last year—you may want to try some of these:

  1. I no longer buy things that make me say: “that's good enough for now”, “not too bad” or “I’ll just ignore the fact that I don’t really like it” (don’t ask me it was just an unconscious habit); I do buy things that make me say: “fantastic”, “holy sh*t that’s awesome”, “I love this for life”. Translation: does NOT mean more expensive.
     
  2. I surround myself with pleasant and beautiful things: aka fresh flowers, new pictures on the wall, and happytastic photos of myself; I got rid of and I’m in the process of exchanging/replacing and burning all items connected to past relationships, hand me downs and anything heavily laden with emotional baggage.
     
  3. I take part in gratitude practices and focus on things/situations/people that make me feel happy (ex. 100happydays.com).
     
  4. I take time to pamper myself: I went for a full body Dead Sea scrub. That was amazing. Not to mention being introduced to disposable underwear—strange concept, but interesting.
     
  5. I find ways to purge negative emotions/feelings/vibes through yoga, walking and journaling.
     

All of the above brings me more joy, confidence, adventurous tendencies and spontaneous bursts of happiness! How will you bring more self-love into your life today?