Posts tagged #anxiety

FIVE SURPRISING BLOCKS TO HEALING YOUR ANXIETY FOR GOOD (AND WHAT YOU CAN DO INSTEAD)  

Anxiety overshadows every area of your life.

 Not only do you wake up to waves of dread every morning …

 
When you go to work you feel like no one likes you …

 
You feel resentful of those who seem to have it so easy …

AND

To top it all off, you’re exhausted by the constant aches and pains and lack of sleep!

 

So, you’ve taken the bull by the horns.

You decided that you’re not going to sit around and let the anxiety get the better of you.

You developed some ways to manage and cope with these terrible symptoms.

You feel pretty happy about it—they seem like good strategies and you are very dedicated to doing them every day.

 

The problem is:  YOUR ANXIETY IS WORSE THAN EVER

 

WAKE UP CALL: These strategies are blocking you from healing your anxiety.

How? Because you are creating habits that pull you away from healing the root cause.

The root cause is the central limiting belief, thought pattern, habit, childhood wound and/or family lineage conditioning that built the container for the anxiety to manifest.

If you aren’t dealing with the root cause, you are chasing your tail and losing the time you could have being anxiety free.

 
As an International Medical Intuitive Healer, I’ve overcome my own chronic anxiety, IBS and skin issues at the very root cause. I now dedicate my life and soul purpose to helping you find a way out of the experience so you can be at peace with yourself. So, you can finally feel at home.

 

To really help you and illustrate what I mean, I’ve created a list of the FIVE SURPRISING BLOCKS THAT ACTUALLY LEAD YOU AWAY FROM FINDING THE ROOT CAUSE OF YOUR ANXIETY (and effective strategies you can do instead):

 

  1. You like to be productive

As a Type A personality (which I am through and through), I understand that this is an especially difficult pattern to overcome.  You need to really be honest with yourself: are you being productive or are you are avoiding feeling or knowing something? When we take the time to do nothing and throw out the construct of being useful, feelings, awareness and insight come to the surface. These are your clues to the root cause of your anxiety. Your body and your Higher Self will waste no time giving you the clarity you need.

What to do instead: Schedule a time at least once per day to sit for 10 minutes and do absolutely nothing. You can close your eyes, hold a mug of tea and stare out the window. This is your nothing time. If you have trouble with this then label it as “By doing nothing I am getting closer to healing my anxiety. This is my way of being productive right now.”

  1. You always look at the bright side

This pattern is especially damaging. If you always look at the bright side, your wounded aspects feel ignored and mistreated. Being positive can be another avoidance tactic to stay away from the root cause of your anxiety. What if you don’t feel positive and you ignore it? What will happen? These feelings will go deeper underground into your psyche and resurface as a surge of anxiety. We become anxious when we are trying to control or push painful experiences and feelings away. It is a valuable signal that we have been ignoring our true feelings if we only look at the bright side.

What to do instead: Do an honest journal entry about how you feel. Free flow write for at least 20 minutes without stopping or censoring any words (no matter how shocking they may be!). Use all the words that feel uncomfortable. The more your mind tells you what a terrible person you are for even feeling this way, the closer you are to hitting your emotional release. At the end of the entry, thank yourself for showing up and being real. You’ll be amazed at how relieved you feel. Repeat this 1-2 times per week to get to the deepest core of your feelings.

  1. You love to set goals and achieve them

Goals themselves are not the problem. I encourage you to have goals and dreams and to go after them. The thing to watch out for is when you jump from one goal to the next to the next. If we don’t pause and celebrate how far we’ve come, we never feel like we’re good enough. We also don’t feel like we’ve changed. And this creates more anxiety. I guarantee that you’ll be very surprised when you take the time to see how much you’ve actually changed. When you acknowledge your success, you’ll feel more confident and release the need to pressure yourself into another goal right away.

What to do instead:

Write out a comparison to where you were a year ago with your anxiety and trigger situations. On a piece of paper create three different sections: work, relationships and health. Jot down what you were feeling/experiencing then and how you are feeling now for each section.  Be as detailed as possible. Then do something to celebrate how far you’ve come!

  1. You are humble

As someone who suffered from anxiety for over 25 years, I had trouble feeling good about myself. I felt less than and incapable of doing the simplest things. I found a way to reframe this low self-esteem in a shroud of false humility. It felt better to say: “I’m a good person and good people don’t draw attention to themselves. I don’t brag or talk about myself because that would mean I’m arrogant. I’m a nice, humble person.” The reality was that I felt worthless. Once I healed the wounds that made me feel terrible about myself, I didn’t want to be “humble” anymore. I wanted to talk about the amazing things I could do. Being a good person does not mean hiding your awesomeness!

What to do instead:

Write down 10 beautiful qualities and traits about yourself. If you have trouble with this exercise, think of the compliments you’ve received from others over the years. They are reflecting your essence back to you. It’s your job to accept and receive your UNLIMITED GREATNESS with open arms: that is true humility.

  1. You dedicate yourself to your loved ones

When we make our lives about others to the point of ignoring our own needs and wants, we are doing the world a great disservice. You are depriving others of your greatest self. You are keeping your true potential hidden and dormant. Others who would be inspired and transformed from your presence will miss that gift. Sacrificing your life and health to serve others is an act of self-abuse. You will not get to the root cause of your own suffering if you make your life all about others. I’m not talking about ignoring the needs of others, I’m talking about stopping the destructive pattern of ignoring your own needs. Your loved ones will benefit greatly from your own wholeness and vitality and inner peace. Ten fold.

What to do instead:

Take note of all the things you like to do for others. Now pick two of those things and do them for yourself once a week. Book 1:1 time for yourself and do those acts of service for you. This will help you get to know your needs better (or for the first time) so you can truly heal.

 

Comment below: Which number resonates the most with you or Which one was the most surprising to you? What are you going to do today to start healing your anxiety?

Posted on January 28, 2019 and filed under anxiety remedy.

How to Get Past Fear to Get Sh*t Done (even if you feel paralyzed)

Do you really, really want to get something done, but you're terrified out of your mind to do it? In this Truly Powerful Quick Tip video (video #7 of 7), I talk about things you may be unaware of that greatly effect your confidence and ability to go for it in life. I also mentions a way to look at your situation that can also lift you above your own fears. Don't miss this one if you have a lot of big stuff to do and you're tired of letting fear get in the way.

Take a Bath: 4 Natural Concoctions to Totally Relax You

Enjoy this piece I wrote for Naturally Savvy--it needed to be brought forth again. Anxiety is very prevalent right now:

You’re wound up like a top from work, or your best-friend-in-a-crisis shows up unexpectedly for the weekend. What do you do? Take a bath and let your troubles melt away. Don’t just pour some dish soap into the bathtub and pretend you’re at the spa, try these concoctions to really help you relax.

1. Essential Oils: Made through steam distillation of botanicals, essential oils capture the pure essence of the plant. They are potent, aromatic and highly therapeutic. Since one of the best ways to benefit from essential oils is vaporization, putting drops into a hot bath is an excellent way to use them. This is a form of aromatherapy. "Aromatherapy can be defined as the controlled use of essential oils to maintain and promote physical, psychological, and spiritual wellbeing."  ~ Gabriel Mojay

Here are some essential oils to use for relaxation

  • Chamomile 
  • Clary sage 
  • Frankincense 
  • Jasmine 
  • Lavender
  • Rose
  • Marjoram
  • Ylang ylang

How to use them
To help the oils dissolve better, add them to the bath with a tablespoon of whole milk or Epsom salts. Add the drops just before entering the bath and use your hands to stir them around the tub.

Try this relaxing recipe from Laurel Vukovic, author of Herbal Healing Secrets for Women:

5 drops lavender essential oil
3 drops sandalwood essential oil
2 drops clary sage essential oil

2. Epsom salts: These contain minerals, one of which is magnesium. Magnesium is used to relax muscles and help people sleep. Put 1-2 cups of Epsom salts into your bath for a deeply relaxing experience. This is a perfect bath to take just before you slide into bed.

3. Herbs: You can also use the dried herb version of some relaxing plants. One suggestion from the Crunchy Betty website is to make a very strong tea, let it steep at least seven minutes and then pour it into the bath. Take the remaining loose tea and wrap it into a wash cloth. Tie it up and let it float in the bathtub with you. You can also use this as a scrub to wash your body.

The following herbs are both relaxing and rejuvenating. You can combine whatever scents you like the most in combination or use one at a time. The fun thing to do is to experiment and take as many baths as you can. Dedicate an entire week to research!

Use Sage, Green tea, Chamomile, Peppermint, Rosemary and, of course the belle of the ball - Lavender.

4. Oatmeal: It isn’t just a cereal. As a grass it contains high amounts of minerals including calcium, which can relax the nervous system and muscles. An oat bath is an age-old remedy for anyone stressed out and sore.

Boil oatmeal in a large pot for 30 minutes to 1 hour. Drain the water into a bowl and leave the oats behind. Use the emollient water for the bath-pour it in when you’re ready. This is soothing as well as very moisturizing.

Posted on February 22, 2016 and filed under anxiety remedy.

How to Deal with Anxiety: Avoid Living like you’re on The Mindy Project

Anxiety is no joke. Just take a look at what the characters on The Mindy Project go through on a daily basis: hidden skeletons (think Danny’s stripper thong), mammoth misunderstandings (Peter didn’t go to Dartmouth) and high pressure shenanigans (Mindy goes to California).

Thankfully, we don’t have to down bottles of wine or bribe people or hide under desks to cope with life’s ups and downs (although I do admire Mindy’s way with words).

We can handle our mangled nerves in a much more effective way. Here is a technique that I put into practice to soothe my anxiety. Try it and see—you’ll be amazed at how much it will change your experiences!

Mantras

Mantras: phrases or words that help you reach a desired state of being. For example, the mantra “OM”. Look up some Sanskrit words or phrases to find the ones that suit you best. These mantras allow you to focus and return to a calmer state of being.

Repeat them out loud, in your mind or write them out. The more you use them, the better they work. Once I got past the arguments that my mind tries to make (this is stupid, these words won’t work, this is a waste of time), I find that the mantras help me immensely. The trick is not to give in to the literal meaning behind the words and phrases. I used this one:

Everything is always working out perfectly for me. (Abraham Hicks)

Listen to my podcast for an in-depth explanation of why I used this phrase.

I repeated this phrase several times a day and looked at it on a piece of paper when I needed to return to a state of peace and calm. Over time, I found that something clicked into place and the phrase immediately brought me there. I had connected on a deeply spiritual level to the vibration of the phrase. This is what you can do too. Find your phrase and use it when you need it.

Put it on the fridge, in your wallet or on your desk. Look at it often.
Repeat the phrase as needed.

Remember to let go of the outcomes that you think are the best things for you and to realize when things show up for you (possibly in different packaging).

As adorable as Mindy is, you don’t have to worry about hurting peoples’ feelings, avoid intimidating situations or try to convince others of your worth. You can go back to the mantras and let things unfold instead. Ahhh…much better.

Posted on December 1, 2015 and filed under emotional growth.

How to Stop Your Inner Worry Wart from Taking Over

If you could model your fingernails for the latest Zombie movie, then you may be a bit of a nail-biting worry wart. You’d be in good company as I’m a recovering worrier—worrying about life was what I did. What if I’m late for my appointment? What if I can’t remember what I’m supposed to say? What if I show up in my underwear? I didn’t say my worries actually made sense—all the best worries are about as logical as a Tim Burton film.

Here are some tips that I used to go from worrier to warrior!

1. Get it out: when we let our worries knock around in our brain the effect is an echoing, repetitive series of thoughts. It takes over. We don’t even realize that the thoughts are running on a constant loop and that if we actually brought them to the surface, they would stop being so loud. Write down all the worries that come to mind. Take a break, go back to it and write some more. You’ll find clusters of worries; you’ll find things you had no clue were taking up space in your psyche! The main objective is to get them out in the open where you can look at them.

2. Forgive yourself: now that you see what thoughts and worries take up so much of your energy and make you feel so crappy you don’t have to beat yourself up. This is not an excuse to say: ok, I’m a worry wacko. You had a pattern, maybe from childhood, that you picked up. So what. Now you can make a change and do something about it. Make an intention that you will choose differently from now on.

3. Choose different thoughts: from this point forward commit to being more aware of what thoughts run your life and insert new, positive thoughts. I call these the counter offers. Your mind says: What if I bomb at this interview? Your counter offer would be: What if I do so well they hire me on the spot? Take that, worry track! Try this and over time you’ll notice that you may automatically start to think more positively. Of course the tendency may still be there to worry, but you have a way of balancing it out by offering the mind an alternative way to see the world. You can choose this. I did.

4. Take care of yourself: we all know that when we aren’t get enough sleep, eating properly and working without breaks that it wears us down. These bad habits make us susceptible to more worry. We aren’t at our best, therefore we can’t think at our best. We need a solid base of health to go forth into the world with a positive outlook. Eat your greens, get your sleep, take time to sit in the park. All these simple techniques will help you see the world as a wonderful place instead of a mecca of impending doom.

Happy thoughts to you! Do you have any anti-worrying techniques? Share them below so everyone can benefit!

P.S. Ever wonder what Little Red Riding Hood has to do with personal transformation? Find out! Check out my brand new e-book What Would Little Red Riding Hood Do? 7 Ways to Face Your Wolf and Live Happily Ever After.