Posts tagged #emotional overwhelm

Five Ways to Feel Like Yourself Again

Just can’t shake that feeling of being totally “off”?

Maybe it’s been a weird day … or week … or most of your thirties bit the big one.

If it seems like you’ve drifted away from who you are … only to find yourself on a desert island of WTF: don’t worry! There is a raft heading your way right now.

First, we need to look at the root cause of why we feel off in the first place. Like how did we end up here with our tattered shirt wrapped around our head, trying to spear fish with our house key?

How did we end up feeling like a completely unrecognizable version of ourselves?

1. What are you doing to throw yourself off?

Take a long hard look at what you’ve been doing in the past few months and weeks (or years) leading up to this lost-self-scenario.

My example would be that I used to take on every project I’d ever wanted to do ALL AT ONCE and proceed to give myself a deadline of yesterday. Time waits for no one I used to tell myself. A couple weeks into this self-imposed boot camp I’m bedridden—binge watching Netflix and wearing the same clothes from last week.

The point is that the patterns are easy to spot once we look for them. Can you say warning signs?!

2. Are you pushing yourself too hard?

Throwing yourself off meet pushing yourself too hard. I’m sure you two will get along great. You have so much in common.

We all know that pushing leads to collapse or burnout or collapse and burnout. Even inanimate objects experience this. As an example, did you know that if you push a coffee maker too hard and make it pump out cup after cup without a break that it will eventually start projectile vomiting water across your kitchen counter? Or, so I’ve heard.

Anyway, we all know that pushing ourselves too hard is a recipe for disaster. Look at what you can do in pieces, one after the other.

How can you space projects out so that you have time to breathe in between?

When can you take time off even if it’s just an afternoon to spend in the park?

Awareness is key so make sure to be on alert for when you’re pushing yourself as opposed to having a healthy motivation for your schedule.

3. Are you asking for help?

Our society can no longer worship the individual. The individual is part of the whole. The individual is part of the group and community that we need so much.

We need that collaboration and support.

We need to feel connected to others as we go for our dreams in life.

Collaboration, community and relationships are the most important principles in life today—aside from sharing love. Without our community behind or with us, we are always going to feel lost or off.

Find your people—whether it’s a social group, exercise group, political group or spiritual group—stay connected. Ask for help. Reach out and do things with others who have a common goal.

4. Getting that desperate feeling

Sometimes we start to panic and feel really out of it. Maybe we’ve gone so far that we can’t really find our way back home to ourselves. Its ok, we’ve all been there. The way back is to reconnect to our True Self.

Find time in the morning or at night to breathe deeply and envision roots growing from your feet into the centre of the earth.

Spend time with your eyes closed and feel the communion with your True Self. Do this regularly so that you always maintain that connection. The source of most anxiety and feeling of confusion is due to the fact that we’ve disconnected from who we really are.

5. What do you love?

What you love is who you are.

What you love is an expression of your life.

When you connect to that, you are connected to your True Self, your core.

This is the quickest way to feel like yourself again:

Reaffirm what you love.

Make a list.

Tell someone.

Make plans to express what you love in the world.

You can’t feel out of it when you are doing or being what you love—it is impossible.

Try to use these five tips as a maintenance tool or a sign post—when you start to feel wobbly go back to one of these steps. And the thing to remember is that no matter how off you may feel, you are never far from your True Self.

Remember: YOU are home.

I would love to hear how you connect to yourself or what you love. Share below in the comments!

How To De-Clutter On All Levels

Clutter interferes with our life in many different ways. Regardless of the type of clutter—physical, mental or emotional—it creates a barrier between us and our natural flow. When clutter clogs up our life, we pay the price. If you’re feeling particularly stuck right now it could be time for a major de-clutter fest.

Types of clutter

1.       Physical

The body. If we have a cluttered body that essentially means that we are stuffing our veins, arteries and other pathways with debris. This can happen with too much alcohol, fried foods, or processed food with chemicals and additives. When we’re cluttered in the body things don’t flow—maybe we’re constipated or we have high blood pressure. Live by the basic rules of health to de-clutter: water, fibre, exercise. These guidelines may seem overly simplistic but if we don’t have the foundation, we don’t have the house, am I right?

What to do?

Drink more water—carry a water bottle or leave water at your desk; always have a reminder that you need to drink water; eat watery foods such as celery, watermelon, cucumber, soups

Eat more fibre—get this from your foods; the best sources are beans, fruits and vegetables (with the skin) and whole grains (whole wheat, kamut, rye, or quinoa)

Exercise—even walking is an excellent way to move the body and help it to process anything that is clogged or cluttering your system

The environment. When your office desk is hidden under ten years of old files and papers, topped off with gum wrappers and broken paperclips you are living in a cluttered environment. If your closet is a health and safety hazard you are living a cluttered environment. This creates anxiety, stress and overwhelm. You look at the mess and are paralyzed. This is clogging your flow.

2.       Mental

When our thoughts are recurring, relentless and negative our mind is cluttered. If you play the same unhappy scenarios in your head over and over again your mind is cluttered. This creates stress, anxiety and a heavy negative tone to your life. It blocks the positive, flowing energy from blowing breezes through your thought passages.

What to do?

Write down the recurring thoughts in your journal. Beside each one say or write—I accept you, I bless you, I forgive you. This level of awareness and acceptance helps to dissolve the need for those thoughts to loop around in your head. You are bringing light to them. Do this for every thought that comes up repeatedly.

3.       Emotional

If we have repeated emotional experiences on a playback loop we may have a cluttered heart. Maybe your goto feeling is frustration or loneliness or anger. Maybe all you can feel is: nothing. This is a sign that your heart is clogged. The myriad of emotional nuances available to you are waiting outside the wall of clutter. The clutter is your old, stale, repeated emotions.

What to do?

In the same way as the thoughts, write down your repeating emotions. Write the same or say the same phrases for each emotion—I accept you, I bless you, I forgive you. You are again bringing light and awareness to them. Sometimes all you need is acknowledgement and awareness. The emotional awareness is more of a process but you may be surprised what you can unclutter in a short period of time.

Try these de-cluttering activities for all aspects of your life and you’ll be amazed at how much lighter, more vibrant and fluid you will feel! During the change of seasons is an excellent time to embark on this journey as the energy of transition is also gently helping the process. Happy de-cluttering!

If you have any tips for de-cluttering comment below so we can all learn from each other.

Three Ways to Soothe Intense Frustration

Frustration is the annoying neighbor—he sees you before you can duck behind the badly placed front window curtain and now he’s in your living room not using a coaster. Like the unwanted neighbor, the intensity of a frustration meltdown usually comes out of nowhere and never wants to leave. So, what do you do when you feel like an emotional battlefield is taking place in your chest, head and gut? Read on!

Awareness raising questions-ask yourself these questions to open up the mind and prepare it for our step by step instructions to deal with frustration:

  • What happens when I stop pushing?
  • What is the fear if I don’t make it happen?
  • Would it be ok if I didn’t push and instead let things be?

Now that our brain is on board with this mission, let’s dive into some practical tools for self-soothing.

  1. Take a Step Back…way back
    Sometimes we need to pull back from the bonfire—otherwise our face will melt off. The same goes with intense situations. If we feel a raging fire emitting from a certain situation it would make sense to take a step away from it. You want to give yourself the perspective so that you don’t get burned. Taking a step back can mean giving yourself some time alone, having a relaxing bath, going to yoga, talking to a friend or hanging out with your kids and/or pets. In other words, go do something else for a while. You need this time to process, decompress and reorient yourself. 
  2. What are the triggers underneath this?
    When we have an intense emotional reaction to something it may mean that it is a deep wound from childhood. Maybe our needs weren’t met or the recent situation reminds us of how we didn’t get the love and attention we wanted in a similar situation. For example, you showed our painting to a parent and they were busy so they ignored you or they were angry about something else and took it out on you.

    These memories can leave a deep scar and when we do something in our present life that reminds us of that, we feel the same feelings in a more intense fashion. We show our creative project to our colleagues and they react negatively or they ignore it—there is the trigger. It’s like a hook that is stuck inside you and when the person says something they are essentially pulling on the emotional hook. Hence the emotional frustration. What we need to remember is that these triggers can be soothed. Sit in a quiet place and go within. Ask to talk to your inner child or the deeply vulnerable part of yourself. Then tell it what it needs to hear. You’ll instinctively know what to say. Once you’ve soothed that part of you, it won’t need to get your attention. The hook will be removed. Sometimes this is a process that takes a few “soothing” sessions, but it will get better each time.
  3.  How can you fill yourself up?
    Just as there are emotional triggers and hooks from childhood there are also triggers that relate to today. Maybe you aren’t living a balanced life and giving yourself what you need right now. When we look at the holes in our lives, we may see that we are getting frustrated at work but it’s really about the fact that we don’t have any fun. Or we don’t give ourselves enough sleep. Or alone time. Or social time. So, we may have an intensely frustrated reaction to a family member but when we take a bigger look at our life, it’s really about the fact that we aren’t expressing ourselves enough.

These triggers are very helpful. They let you know how you’re doing and what you need. Sit down again and get quiet. Listen to the inner part of yourself for messages about what you are ignoring or what you’ve focused on too much. Take note and try to adjust your life so that it’s more fluid and all encompassing.

Try these three ways to soothe yourself and you will notice that the next time you get into that state, the warning signs will be there for you. In other words, you’ll feel it right before the frustration gets really big. Or you’ll be more ready for it when it happens. Or better yet—you may dupe the frustration all together! Ah to live in a world with strategically placed curtains.