1. Nothing will stand in your way: You are NOT going to allow another year to go by being single. You don’t care what needs to be done, you’ll do it. This is happening now! And you’ll do what it takes no matter what.
You’ll dedicate the time
You’ll get the right kind of support
You’ll show up and do the things that will attract the relationship of your dreams
If you’re not in that kind of energy, you’ll be easily distracted, thrown off by the ups and downs of dating and you’ll give up and go back to “I’m fine being single” before you change enough to bring in the love of your life.
2. Do something different: This may seem obvious but it needs to be said. Stop doing what you’re doing now. Face it, you haven’t found someone so far and you need to switch it up. Your current beliefs, knowledge, and behaviours are not getting you what you want.
Maybe you’re attracting men, but you’re not into them. Or vice versa.
Maybe you date a guy and he disappears after two dates leaving you feeling rejected and devastated.
Are you willing to do things differently to change your experiences and find the love you long for?
3. Get suitable help to overcome your blind spots: We all have them.
Maybe you think that you’re totally open and ready for dating, but your energy has a big “Stay Away!” stamp on it.
Maybe you drive men away with your intensity.
Maybe you talk too much about your past or seem guarded about it.
Maybe you aren’t as open and available as you think you are.
To overcome anything stopping you from allowing others to see how much of an amazing catch you are, you need to have someone show you and help you work through your blind spots. You need to have your energy clear and inviting. The other thing about getting help is it only works when you get it from the right source. Your other single friend who is as jaded as you (or maybe even more so) will not be giving you high level advice to help you shift.
Even your married friend is probably not the best because she’s forgotten what it’s like and the world is not the same as when she was single.
Stop getting advice that twists you into a knot of emotional confusion and panic. Hire someone who is trained in the realm of relationships and dating and ideally has found someone who makes them incredibly happy as well.
4. Get clear: Without knowing exactly who you want in your life and what type of relationship you want, how do you expect to find them? I’m not talking about just the traits of your future husband, but also the lifestyle you want to live with them.
Write out an entire list and spend time in the whole scenario: what hours does he work?
What do you do in the evenings? What does he think of holidays? How does he feel about politics? These are things to get really clear on.
Pro-tip: You also need to be able to recognize when you have met your true match, because believe me that can be tricky also! I speak from personal experience on that one.
5. Stay reasonably positive: You might be a bit jaded if you’ve never had a truly compatible relationship (especially if you’re over 35). You may feel resentful and frustrated and unknowingly take it out on prospective partners.
It’s understandable to be upset; I went through 20 years of tumultuous, unhappy relationships and ten years as a single person feeling unloved an angry at the world. I get it. But you have to heal those wounds enough to brush yourself off and dive in with an open heart. Isn’t it worth it to if you meet the love of your life within the next six months?
If you are willing and able to do these things then you are well on your way to being in an incredible relationship in the very near future. Message me if you would like my support to implement these keys and we’ll get started!