Are you Heartless?

In my mid-twenties, I had a plan for everything: the five-year plan, the five-month plan and the five-day plan. I even planned what to wear the next day. Those around me were included too; my carefully crafted plans involved controlling everyone within grasping distance.

I wrote lists and maps and charts for my next goal, accomplishment or achievement. This feverish pace kept me going, going, going, so that I never, never, never stopped to feel into things. Have you ever felt into a situation? Back then I thought that was a foreign and pretty creepy practice. I would scoff “what is there to feel into about life goals and five-year plans?” It took several unpleasant life lessons to figure out that I was heartless.

The problem with acting heartless-cutting the heart out of planning-is that the heart starts to vie for your attention in very odd ways. You can write out plan after plan and logically bounce your way through life, but sooner or later the heart will stage a revolution. For example, you’re knocking off your lists like a bandit, but you start to feel angry…all the time. Or you feel sad every morning and it takes a lot of donuts and coffee to shake it off. These annoying feelings get more intense and stay for longer. Welcome to the world of the ignored heart.

The ignored heart is quite a nuisance. It will pester you to death and ruin all your well-thought out plans. Just as you’re getting a foot hold on your five-year plan, the heart will throw you off track and before you know it you’ll be in a ditch somewhere wondering what happened.

When I graduated from high school I wanted to work in the travel industry. I imagined myself jetting around the world riding camels and climbing mountains. What I didn’t understand was that in my heart of hearts I really wanted to live the travelling lifestyle not WORK so others could ride camels and climb mountains. I stubbornly continued with my heartless plans and finished the travel and airline program. Mission accomplished-hooray! Yet there I was feeling disappointed, sad and frustrated. If I’d explored what my heart was actually telling me—find a way to travel and get paid for it—my plans would’ve looked very different. Needless to say, my career in travel was short lived.

As I began to let my heart tell me things I was amazed at how intelligent it was. My heart led me back to writing. My writing led me to express myself and help others at the same time. Opportunities continue to unfold for me within this realm and I feel extremely happy. So the next time you want to lead with your head and ignore your heart remember this saying: the heart wants what the heart wants. And believe me it will stop at nothing to get it. But so what? Who really wants to be heartless anyway?

Please comment below on your experiences of living from the heart or of ignoring your heart. I would love to hear from you!

 

From my heart to yours,

Eleanor